The NFL Hair Club

As I watch football anymore, I can't help but get confused and distracted by all of the hair. It's like the NFL has morphed into the Hair Club For Men. I was watching my favorite team, the Baltimore Ravens, last week play the Pittsburgh Steelers. Baltimore appeared to have the game in hand late in the game. Well, the next thing you know, quarterback Joe Flacco drops back to pass and WHAM! He gets blindsided by Diana Ross! I immediately jumped out of my chair and yelled, "That's bullshit! She shouldn't even be on the field!"

Well, after further review, I discovered that it really wasn't Diana Ross. And it wasn't the guitar player from Guns and Roses either. It was none other than Steelers' safety Troy Polamalu. Hey, it was easy enough to make the mistake. I'm serious, the guy looks like a Chia Pet! Poor Flacco probably thought he got hit by a sheep.

And although I'm no fan of the Steelers, it's not just Polamalu with the long hair. It seems that half of the guys in the NFL now have either the grunge rock-star look or the Rasta man look. I was watching one game where I swore Bob Marley was running down the field for a touchdown. I thought I was hallucinating!

I don't know how these guys can stand it. I would think all that hair would be hot, irritating and/or distracting. Like I said before, it definitely distracts me. Sometimes, I don't know if the team is huddling up to discuss the next play or if they're preparing to segue into Buffalo Soldier. Don't get me wrong, I love Bob Marley. But we're hear to play football, guys!

And what is up with New England's Tom Brady? I can't believe that one of his fellow Patriots hasn't told him that the Justin Bieber look doesn't work beyond the age of twelve. Sure, he's a great quarterback. So, what? He looks absolutely ridiculous.

What happened to the days when the football players used to have manly haircuts. Remember the flat-top that Johnny Unitas used to sport?  Now, there was a haircut. Ol' Johnny U always looked like a fresh Marine recruit. You could land a helicopter on his head. God bless him!

So, anyway I gotta run. The Ravens and Texans are getting ready to go at it. I sure hope Flacco keeps his eyes open for anyone who looks like Diana Ross this week!

KW