A Day In Amish Country

Having a few well-deserved days off work last week, Tina & I were looking to get out of town for the day. My first thoughts were Philadelphia or Washington DC. They're both within driving distance of Baltimore and there's no shortage of things to do in either city. But just in the nick of time, I caught a news segment regarding some of the recent flash mob incidents. This obviously soured the outlook on my proposed day trip to Philly or DC.

So, Tina suggested that we go up to Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Maybe not quite as exciting as the big city, but at least with the Amish, you don't have to worry about getting flashed or mobbed. So, I pointed the car north and off we went......

As we crossed over into Pennsylvania, I pulled over to get gas. We must have been closer to Lancaster than I realized because the woman at the next pump was Amish. Although she was wearing the familiar black and white dress, I was surprised to see her sporting a pair of New Balance running shoes. Watching her pump gas into her minivan also seemed a bit odd. I would have snapped a photo with my cell phone, but the Amish tend to frown on that type of thing.

We got back on the road and short while later, we wound up in the Amish town of Bird In Hand. I had to wonder who came up with a name like this. They had to know that it would surely open up a bottomless can of colorful comments.

As we traveled down the main road, we stopped off in the next town, which happened to be called Intercourse. There seemed to be a certain pattern with these names! Anyway, Tina & I grabbed lunch at a nice restaurant called The Kling House. We had eaten here a few years ago and, although there was still no beer on the menu, the food remained top notch.

After lunch, we walked around the village and did a little shopping. I quickly learned that in addition to Bird In Hand and Intercourse, there was also a town named Paradise. My immediate thought was, "How appropriate!" I mean, if you've got Bird In Hand and Intercourse, can Paradise really be that far behind?

As I tried to keep my mind out of the gutter, I was constantly confronted with T-shirts and other souvenirs that played on the towns' easily misconstrued names. In case you're wondering, I brought a few things home that boldly proclaimed that "I Love Intercourse".

The last time we were up here, Tina & I took a buggy ride through the back roads. Seeing the Amish men and women working the fields brought a strange sense of guilt. I almost felt like we were intruding on their lives and looking at them as oddities. I guess in a general sense, they are. I mean, can you imagine having all of the modern conveniences readily available and still insisting on doing things the much more laborious, old-fashioned way? These guys were tearing up a lot of land and I didn't see one of them on a John Deere tractor. Not the way I would do it, but there's something to be said of the dedication these people have to their beliefs.

And although there are no video games or computers, the youngsters seem quite happy running around in the fields playing simple games. I had to wonder if the rebellious kids were huddled up with a Playstation in the back of one of the barns. Of course, having no electricity would make it kind of tough to advance to the next level of Grand Theft Auto.

I respect the Amish for their work ethic but I can't, for the life of me, understand the haircuts. All of the guys, including the kids, have these bowl type cuts reminiscent of Moe Howard of The Three Stooges. And if that wasn't enough, the men have beards but no moustaches. I have to wonder how this fashion statement originated. If you took the DNA of Moe Howard and Abe Lincoln and mixed it up in a (non-electrical) blender, you would likely wind up with someone who looks quite Amish.

We finished out day trip by shopping at a few of the Amish food markets. Tina bought various jellys and a Shoe-Fly pie while I scoped out some rather expensive, but very tasty beef jerky. The jerky was gone before we made it back into Maryland.

All kidding aside, if you have never experienced life around Lancaster, you should put it on your bucket list. It's a great way to spend the day!

kw