Pardon The Interuption

You ever notice how our lives are full of constant interruptions? It seems that you can't have ten minutes of continuous activity without someone or something coming along and getting in the way. And the older I get, the more it pisses me off.

Back in the day, if you were tired of commercials interrupting your favorite TV show, you could subscribe to cable TV and enjoy endless hours of uninterrupted visual entertainment. Sure, it would up costing you a few extra bucks, but it was well worth it. But somewhere along the line, the commercials made their way over into the cable arena. Nowadays, you can't even watch ten continuous minutes of Bar Rescue without a commercial ruining the experience. Of course, we have do have DVR's now. But, mark my words, they will eventually figure out a way to prevent you from skipping through the commercials.

Even when I rent a DVD, I have to sit through a dozen previews before I can even begin watch the main attraction. And if that's not bad enough, they'll sometimes throw in a Coca-Cola commercial to boot. How long before Will Rogers pops up on the screen and I have an usher knocking at my door holding a donation bucket?

Speaking of people knocking at my door....

I cringe when I hear the doorbell ring anymore. The person on the other side of the door will inevitably be:

a) trying to sell me some type of home improvement
b) asking for some type of donation
or
c) trying to convert me into a Jehovah's Witness

Lately, when I hear the familiar ding-dong sound, I immediately grab my phone, a pen and a legal pad. As I open up the door, I pretend like I'm having a heated business discussion. As I raise the legal pad over my head for a dramatic effect, I bark at my phantom business partner through the phone, "I don't care what corporate says. You work out the numbers and make this happen! Am I making myself clear?!"

Then I'll my hand over the phone and turn my attention to the poor sap at my door," I'm sorry, bud. What can I help you with?"

As the guy at the door starts to talk, I'll cut him off, "I'm sorry. I gotta take this."

And then I'll start barking back at the phone, "You know what? This is total bullshit!....What was that?....Are you freggin' kidding me?" By this time, the guy at the door will usually dismiss himself by saying, "You seem really busy. We'll try back again some other time."

I have to admit, I do feel a little bad when I do this to the Girl Scouts or the little league kids.

And here's an interruption that really drives me crazy. You see, I'm a story teller. And when I'm telling a story, I like to take the listeners on a trip so they can feel like they were actually there. I have my own personal idea of how to get them from point A to point B. I like to refer to it as my "flow". So when I'm in the middle of colorful story and someone interrupts me, they totally wreck my momentum. I've gotten to the point now where I'll refuse to resume the story claiming that my flow has been interrupted.

Have you ever been jamming out to your favorite song at a red light only to be interrupted by someone knocking at your window begging for money?

When I fly, I prefer to sit in the aisle seat. I also like to read to pass the time. On the rare occasion, when my arms aren't pinned up like a praying mantis, I like to write. But I find it hard to concentrate on either one of these things for very long due to constant interruptions. If the flight attendant isn't cracking my elbow with the beverage cart, the guy next to me with the overactive bladder will be squeezing past me to use the bathroom every ten minutes. And, even worse than these two, is the kid in the seat behind me who kicks my seat for the entire three hour flight.

With all of these interruptions, it's a wonder that I get anything done......

kw