C'mon, people. Do we really need to freak out like this?
The latest I heard, the Baltimore area is due to get about a foot of snow. Will twelve inches of snow make travel a little more difficult. Sure, it will. But from the reaction of most people around here, you'd think that we were about to be dropped off naked at Mt. Everest.
If you want to have some fun tomorrow, take a lawn chair and an Igloo cooler full of your favorite adult beverage to the local grocery store. For premium seating, drop your lawn chair right in the middle of the paper goods section (The store manager might give you a hard time, but just tell them that you're doing some field research for me. If he still has an issue, tell him to give me a call). Take a drink every time someone takes a bundle of toilet paper. By mid-afternoon, people will practically be trampling over one another to get to the last pack of Charmin. And you'll be completely sauced! I'm not quite sure if this classifies as civil unrest, but it's pretty damn close.
People will go ape shit over bread too. I know people that don't even like bread. But they'll buy bread if a snow storm is coming. Below is a photo that my friend, Kathy, took at a local grocery store earlier today. She actually needed bread and all that awaited her was one loaf of smashed diet wheat. (I don't know why, but saying diet wheat bread made me laugh out loud. It can't be good.)
And what's up with the rush on snow shovels? Do people suddenly wake up one morning and say, "Shit! I need a snow shovel." And we do people buy so many? I saw a guy at the Home Depot yesterday who was buying five of them. Do you really need four extras?
And what's up with all of the salt? You would think people were preparing for the second coming of Ghandi!
Through my travels this week, I have heard people talking about this "mother of all storms". Sure it's ominous and apocalyptic. But the biggest thing that people are concerned about, even more than toilet paper, is Garth Brooks. He has a scheduled concert in Baltimore on Saturday night. I have a feeling that no matter how much snow we get, people will miraculously find a way to get to the show. It's pretty amazing how many of these same people can't make it to work when we get two inches of snow. But they would walk through two feet of snow, uphill both ways to get to the show.
The one thing that I really do have to pick up is beer. Beer and snowstorms go together like baseball games and hot dogs. I'm sure the liquor stores will be almost as bad as the grocery stores tomorrow. But I'll be prepared. I plan on carrying an umbrella with me to keep the other shoppers at bay. If anyone is foolish enough to come between me and Sam Adams, I won't hesitate to jab them in the throat with my rain gear. It's nothing personal, I'm just trying to survive like everyone else....
kw
People will go ape shit over bread too. I know people that don't even like bread. But they'll buy bread if a snow storm is coming. Below is a photo that my friend, Kathy, took at a local grocery store earlier today. She actually needed bread and all that awaited her was one loaf of smashed diet wheat. (I don't know why, but saying diet wheat bread made me laugh out loud. It can't be good.)
And what's up with the rush on snow shovels? Do people suddenly wake up one morning and say, "Shit! I need a snow shovel." And we do people buy so many? I saw a guy at the Home Depot yesterday who was buying five of them. Do you really need four extras?
And what's up with all of the salt? You would think people were preparing for the second coming of Ghandi!
Through my travels this week, I have heard people talking about this "mother of all storms". Sure it's ominous and apocalyptic. But the biggest thing that people are concerned about, even more than toilet paper, is Garth Brooks. He has a scheduled concert in Baltimore on Saturday night. I have a feeling that no matter how much snow we get, people will miraculously find a way to get to the show. It's pretty amazing how many of these same people can't make it to work when we get two inches of snow. But they would walk through two feet of snow, uphill both ways to get to the show.
The one thing that I really do have to pick up is beer. Beer and snowstorms go together like baseball games and hot dogs. I'm sure the liquor stores will be almost as bad as the grocery stores tomorrow. But I'll be prepared. I plan on carrying an umbrella with me to keep the other shoppers at bay. If anyone is foolish enough to come between me and Sam Adams, I won't hesitate to jab them in the throat with my rain gear. It's nothing personal, I'm just trying to survive like everyone else....
kw
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