Thursday, January 2, 2014

A New Year Brings New Laws

With the new year comes many new state laws. For instance, it is now illegal to sell or possess shark fins in Delaware. That's just crazy. First they outlaw lawn darts, now shark fins. I'm not so sure that I want to go back to Delaware.

In Illinois, it's now illegal for anyone under 18 to use tanning beds. No more bronze kiddies running around Lake Michigan? Also, in the land of Lincoln, a new "lemon pet law" goes into effect. Basically, this gives you the right to return a pet to the store/breeder if it has an undisclosed illness. Or if you chose, you can keep the pet and be reimbursed for any medical costs. I wonder if you can also be reimbursed for ruined carpet?

Arkansas will now require voters to show a photo ID at the polling place. Ummm, why isn't this a law in every state?

In Oregon, it is now against the law for mothers to take their placentas home from the hospital after giving birth. WTF?

And in that kooky place we call California, schools are now required bend the traditional male/female rules when it comes to bathrooms and sports teams. That's right. if you happen to be a boy named Sue, you can sign up for the girl's volleyball team. I can hear the other team now, "Hey what ever you do, keep it away from the husky chick with the Adam's apple!" And if you're a young lady who dreams of becoming a lumberjack, you can waltz right into the men's room and drop trou at one of the vacant urinals. Keep moving along folks, nothing to see here......

Perhaps not so surprising, Connecticut passed stricter gun control laws in response to the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. Will stricter gun control make us a safer society? I seriously doubt it. But that's just my opinion.

Utah and New Mexico became the latest states to legalize same sex marriage. I really don't know why this issue has become such a big deal. Gays have every right to be part of the bitching and nagging that comes along with marriage. In a few years, gay married couples will be asking, "What the hell were we thinking?"

Rhode Island now has a law that prohibits potential employers from checking out an applicants criminal history when using written job applications. "Axe murderers need not apply" doesn't necessarily apply anymore...

And in Florida, the land of the hanging chad, early voting will be expanded.

But perhaps the most celebrated new law of all comes to us from Colorado. The mile-high state will, no doubt, get even higher as recreational marijuana is now legal. I imagine that Boulder will forever be camouflaged by a plume of second hand pot smoke. The state of Washington will follow Colorado's lead on this one later this year. If this trend continues, I'm buying stock in Doritos!

kw

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