Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Grinch Who Stole Gift Cards

You gotta love Baltimore City. To say that it has problems would be putting it mildly. Sure there are gangs, drugs and pot holes large enough to swallow your car. But how bad are things when the freggin’ Mayor is stealing gift cards intended for needy families? You can’t make this stuff up!

What was Sheila Dixon thinking? Did she possibly think that she wouldn’t get caught? Did she think that Martin Owe’Malley would protect her? Or was she just jonesin’ to go on an impromptu shopping spree?

I can see it now….Dixon stuffing her purse full of the cards as she scurries out the door. A trail of gift cards littering the floor behind her as she yells, “Deck the halls with boughs of holly, my ass! I’m going to Best Buy!!”

I never thought Dixon was that bright. But come on! Stealing gift cards for the needy? As John McEnroe used to say, “You can’t be serious!”

What could she have possibly bought with the cards? Maybe a new boom-box to listen to the latest Kanye West CD back at City Hall? Or perhaps a new slide projector so the City Council could see the crime statistics more clearly?

I thought long and hard about what could have possibly motivated Dixon to do such a notorious thing. And I think I’ve got it. She was sick and tired of Marion Barry getting all the attention!

KW

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