Dancing With Bristol

Before we even get started, let me say that I'm no fan of Dancing With The Stars. So, there's no need to revoke my man card just yet. However, I do feel compelled to comment on whole Bristol Palin situation. 

Bristol, of course, has made it to the show's finale. But it sure hasn't been without it's share of controversy. Many of the show's fans feel that Palin should have been ousted from the very beginning. After all, she has consistently received low marks from the judges. Seems like a legitimate beef to me. However, the usual suspects from the left have a natural hatred for Bristol just because she happens to be the daughter of conservative lightning rod, Sarah Palin. (So much for all of that tolerance crap they're always trying to feed us!).

So, does Bristol Plain really deserve to be in the DWTS finale? Who cares? But here's the thing, even if she can't dance all that well, the viewers voted for her. That should count for something, right? But right on cue, there's already talk about voter fraud. 

And the plot thickens........

As a result of Palin's rise to the top of DWTS, she has begun receiving death threats. Yes, that's right, death threats. The liberals are going absolutely apeshit over the twenty year old single mother actually having a shot at winning a stupid dance contest. Speaking of shots, one idiot even got so upset that his poor television became the victim of a shotgun blast. This eventually led to a fifteen hour standoff with the police. Another open-minded individual sent an envelope containing white powder to Palin. Can you believe this nonsense??

In the past, DWTS has interviewed the winner's outside near Times Square. But as safety concern, the show will likely interview Palin (if she wins) inside the studio. Are you freggin' kidding me? It's a dance contest, for God's sake! Anyone who gets so upset over something like this has some serious priority issues (and probably some mental stability issues as well!).

For what it's worth, I really hope Bristol wins. Just for the simple reason of seeing all those "tolerant and open-minded" hypocrites squirm! 

KW

Can I See Some ID?

Ok, here's the story.....

I stop off at a local Walgreen's earlier today to pick up some cold medicine. Everything seems good. I'm cruising the aisles for various other items that I need (5-hour energy shots, sleeping pills, Red Bull, etc.). Eventually, I get to the cold medicine aisle where a small crowd is lumped together. So, now I have to stand on my tip-toes and do the bob-and-weave to see exactly where my preferred flu medicine is. I finally ask a guy in the front row to hand me a box of Tylenol Cold & Flu gel-caps.

So far, so good......

Walking through the store, I drop several of my items (someone always seems to hide those plastic shopping baskets when I decide to go shopping!). Somehow, I manage to make it to the check-out line. The woman in front of me is having a dispute with the cashier over the price of a large Hershey bar. Is it $1.99 or $2.49? That seems to be the million dollar question. I feel like paying for it myself, just to break the stalemate. (I was rolling with about three hours sleep and was a bit cranky).

After the Hershey bar summit finally comes to a conclusion, I drop my items on the counter. I'm waiting to pay, but the cashier is staring at me like I've done something wrong. So, like an imbecile, I say, "Can I help you?"

She replies, "Can I see your ID?"

I'm confused. First off, I didn't buy any alcoholic beverages. In fact, the only alcohol that Walgreen's even sells is the rubbing variety. And besides, I'm pretty confident that my gray hair and seasoned attitude make me a shoe-in for the 21 and older crowd.

Sounding like Vinny Barbarino, I respond, "My ID? For what?"

She just looks down at the scattered 5-Hour Energy, Gatorade, Ny-Quil and Cold & Flu gels. For what seemed like an eternity, she said nothing while shifting her gaze between me and my items. I have to admit, it probably didn't look good. But hey, I'm an adult and plus......... I have a cold!! But nonetheless, I now feel like I'm standing in line at the methadone clinic.

She then proceeds to tell me that the new rule says to card anyone under 40 who "tries" to purchase cold medicine. She explains that people "make drugs out of this stuff". My first thoughts are, "Aren't they already drugs? And I guess it's ok to 'make drugs out of this stuff' as long as you're over 40?"

Then, just as I'm trying to sort it all out, my new cashier friend delivers the coup de grace......

She takes a long, hard look at me and says, "Actually, I guess you do look old enough." Now, aside from making me feel like a crack addict, she insults my looks. And pouring salt on the wound, the people in the line start to giggle. Don't get me wrong, I know I look my age. But, all things considered, I certainly don't need to be reassured of it at this very moment!

I can feel the crowd staring at me as I swipe my credit card. Feeling like a circus clown, I think about throwing in a fake twitch or two for good measure. But I think better of it. The cashier finally deposits all of my items into a plastic bag. No more pleasantries, I just grab the bag and go. I can't help but feel like I was the topic of conversation after I left.

So now, I have a bruised ego to go along with my flu-like symptoms. Thank you very much, Walgreen's!

KW

Phone Progressions & Obsessions

I can remember a time when a telephone was a relatively simple thing. You picked up the handset, then dialed a phone number on a rotary dial. After each number, you had to patiently wait for the click-click-click to finish before you could dial the next digit. I always hated dialing phone numbers with the larger digits (ex. 789-9988) as it took so long to complete. It also had a tendency to give you a sore index finger!

The push button phone was a welcomed improvement. It was painless and you could dial a phone number in a fraction of the time. And as an added bonus, we would now be able to press 1 for English. Try doing that with a rotary dial phone!

Let's fast forward a couple of decades.....

When the cell/car phone was introduced, it was a convenience mainly used by businessmen. The price of the phone and airtime was pretty steep. I can remember phone calls costing something like a buck a minute. So, discussing the latest episode of Jersey Shore with your sister-in-law on the way to the grocery store didn't make a whole lot of sense.

At some point, cell phones became affordable to almost anyone. Today, every kid over the age of five has one. (I think the cell phone has become the new standard gift among kindergarten graduates.) And I could have swore that I saw a homeless guy yapping on one while pushing a shopping cart underneath the Jones Falls Expressway a few weeks ago.

Actually, we no longer use "cell phones". We now have mobile phones. And these pieces of modern technology are used for almost everything except talking. You can take pictures, play games, catch a TV show, send "tweets", trade stocks or even hurl a profane insult via Facebook. With all of these features, I'll bet some people are surprised when an actual phone call comes through. They're probably like, "Hey dude, what's that ringing noise? How do I make it stop?"

I'm always amazed with the kids and the text messaging. You'll see three or four of them walking abreast in a shopping mall. From a distance, they resemble a football team's offensive line. If you get in their path, they'll blindly run you over. Not a word between them as they rapidly send off important encrypted messages such as ROTFLMAO. (If a staircase happened to come into their path, they would all surely go for a tumble and be ROTF but certainly not LTAO.) Their thumbs work at a frantic pace, much like Forrest Gump playing a game of ping-pong. And if the sky fell, they would be totally oblivious to it. If we could just find a way to channel this concentration into their schoolwork, we'd have a new generation of Einstein's!

And did you ever notice what happens when a kid's phone gets lost or broken? It's like their world comes to an abrupt end. And when you try to console them by saying, "For God's sake. It's just a phone." They'll respond, "It's not just a phone! It's my life!"

What am I missing here??

With all of this being said, aside from an occasional text message, I still use my phone for actual phone calls. Call me crazy, but I guess I'm just a traditionalist at heart.......

KW

Our New Incomplete Kids

Just when you think that we can't coddle our children anymore, we've got this one to chew on. Schools are considering doing away with the traditional "F" for a failing grade. Apparently, an F is just too traumatizing for our youngster's. So, in today's politically correct society, we'll just give them an "I" (for incomplete). Maybe we can have the "incomplete kids" wash the blackboard after school so they can become whole again?

Since we're talking about the kid's feelings here, what if they totally misinterpret the meaning of the "I". After all, they're incomplete, right? What if they confuse the "I" to mean imbecile or incompetent? My God, what if they think it means idiot!

Seriously, what the hell is happening to our society? Are the kids really going to have any chance if we don't teach them the consequences of their actions? What's the point of even sending them to school anymore? Are they really learning anything???

I was recently talking to a Baltimore City school teacher. She told me that she gave several of her students failing grades (how dare she!) on their latest report cards. Guess what happened next. The teacher's superior told her that F's just aren't acceptable. She "should reevaluate the students because they need to pass". Are you freggin' kidding me? So basically, the lazy, undisciplined kid will pass just like the kid who busts his ass and studies every night. (I think this would qualify as a "putting lipstick on a pig" moment.)

It's an extremely competitive world out there. Our kids aren't going to have any chance of succeeding if we don't take the training wheels off. We need to teach them that failures will sometimes happen in their lives. But it doesn't mean that they can't overcome those failures and succeed.  If they are allowed to learn from their mistakes, they will be less likely to repeat them. I know I'm just stating the obvious. But many in our liberal minded society just don't get it. We need to stop dumbing down our kids!

So, will giving a student an "F" really make him/her feel less than adequate? I would hope so. If they feel bad about it, that tells me that there's still some hope for them. Like Whitney Houston once said, I believe the children are the future. But if we don't teach them well, how will they ever be able to lead the way?

KW

Airport Scannings and Pat-Downs

In the never ending adventures of airport security, there's now a backlash of opposition to the TSA's body scanning and pat-down procedures. On the surface, neither of these things seem to be a big deal. After all, we have to have some type of security screening process at the airports, right? So, if a quick body scan can keep the passengers moving along, what's the big deal?

But not so fast......

Keep in mind, the scanners are basically large x-ray machines. This means that they emit radiation. So, even though it's a relatively small dose, what potential harm does this present for frequent fliers? The director of the Center of Radiological Research at Columbia University has said that skin cancer would be the primary concern. Definitely something to think about.....

Also, some people might not want to let it all hang out for a mystery TSA screener to ogle over in the back room. I can understand this. For instance, say a celebrity walks through the scanner. Now, their naked image is stored on a hard drive somewhere. And although we're led to believe that it's only stored temporarily, you can bet your naked ass that someone will eventually get a hold of this image and market it to the National Enquirer.

Of course, you can decide not to go through the body scanner. This involves "opting out" and getting a physical pat-down by one of the intellectually challenged TSA agents. The new pat-down procedures require the agents to aggressively probe your most intimate of areas. So basically, the ladies get a free mammogram and the guys won't have to put of that dreaded prostate exam any longer! I guess it's kind of like getting laser eye surgery at the shopping mall, only more erotic.

And as the politicians like to say, what about our kids? Do you really want some TSA moron groping your teenage daughter? As a parent, I couldn't accept this.

I recently caught a flight out of Denver. While I was making my way through the screening line at DIA, I noticed a group of TSA agents gathering around an old lady. I know it's social taboo to talk about a woman's age, but this lady must have been about 90 years old! She looked absolutely petrified as a female TSA agent delivered what looked like karate chops to the elderly woman's arms and legs. I was really starting to wonder if a Rodney King style beatdown might be coming next. As I made my way through to scanner and into the terminal, they were still working on the poor lady....

And you're going to love this. Yesterday I was reading an article about how Muslim groups are up in arms about the new screening procedures. They say that it's against Islamic teaching for Muslims to be seen naked by other men and women. (Hmm, I wonder if it's against Islamic teachings to blow up planes and saw non-believer's heads off?). And for Muslim women who wear head scarves, CAIR (Council for American-Islamic Relations) has some specific instructions. If a woman should be picked for a secondary screening after going through the metal detector, she should only be searched about the head and neck area. The body is off limits. And these women should have the option to pat their own scarf down. WTF!

Muslims should be treated like any other passenger. If they choose not to oblige, it's quite simple: they don't have to fly. None of us want to go through any of this crap, but unfortunately it's now part of the world that we live in. And let's face it, as much as Whoopi Goldberg might disagree, Muslim extremists seem to be the ones who have a fascination with blowing stuff up. It sure ain't the Amish!

Hey, I have a good idea for airport security. How about making ALL passengers walk through a gate that will detonate ANY explosives. If you're clean, you quickly move through. If you're not, all I can say is "Clean up in aisle five!"

KW

Baltimore - An Ugly City?

Travel and Leisure magazine recently conducted a reader's survey on thirty-five American cities. The survey ranked the cities on things like hotels, nightlife, hospitals, restaurants, etc. It also ranked the people of each city on things like style, friendliness, athleticism and attractiveness. And this is where my hometown didn't stack up very well. Baltimore was ranked the second ugliest city in the US! (In case you're wondering, Memphis claimed the grand prize).

So, what do we make of it? Is Baltimore really that unattractive? Should I feel insulted consdering that I was born and raised in Baltimore. Perhaps I should just cut my head off and grow a scab? I just don't know...

This might help put a little perspective on things. Here's the good, bad and ugly of some of the more famous people who have, at some point, called Baltimore thier home:

• Babe Ruth - In my opinion, the greatest baseball player who ever lived. But let's face it, the Babe had a mug that could make an onion cry!
• John Astin - Most famous for playing the father on The Addam's Family.
• John Waters - Make your own judgement on how he looks. But his films are sure trashy.
• Nancy Pelosi - As much as I don't want to admit it, yes, she's from Baltimore. I'm not saying she's unattractive. But if ugliness were a brick, Nancy would be the Great Wall of China!
• David Hasselhoff - Ladies, you make the call. But, back in the day, he hung out on the beach with Pamela Anderson and Yasmine Bleeth. That's gotta count for something!
• Tom Clancy - Great writer but no one's going to mistake him for Brad Pitt.
• Melissa Stark - A former sideline reporter for Monday Night Football. A good looking woman who is knowledgeable about football. This makes her an automatic 10 in my book!
• Ric Ocasek - Front man for the rock band, The Cars. Sure, the the tall, lanky musician has to sneak up on a mirror. But, in true rock star fashion, he did marry a hot model.

I spend a fair amount of time in downtown Baltimore. So, I can see for myself how attractive or unattractive the people really are. For instance, I saw a twenty-something girl at a local Subway last week. She was all covered in tattoos and had multiple piercings across her face. I had to wonder if the tattoos and piercings were really just a twisted effort to hide her true appearance. I'm not kidding, this girl was scary enough to give Freddy Krugger a nightmare. The good news is, as long as there are freak shows, she'll always have a job.

And I was at a Baltimore area Wal-Mart (go figure!) recently and ran into a guy who could have easily been mistaken for Sasquatch. Seriously, this guy had so much hair growing from his neck, arms and ears I thought he might have been wearing a gorilla suit. His loose fitting Washington Wizard's basketball jersey forced everyone to reluctantly take notice. How bad was it? If this guy went to visit the zoo, they probably wouldn't let him leave. And when he needs medical attention, I'll bet he goes to a vet! Yeah, he was that hairy. Although this guy seemed to be Baltimore resident, let's not lose sight of the fact that this was Wal-Mart. A place that brings out the Jerry Springer guest in all of us.

Through the years, I have heard on occasion, "She's not much to look at, but she's really nice". (Come on, don't act surprised. You know you've heard this too!). It's kind of the consolation prize for not being blessed with good looks. So, with Baltimore having the moniker of "Charm City", you would think that it could have least be viewed as "really nice". But, noooo! The Time and Leisure article lists Baltimore as only the 29th friendliest city (out of 35).

Completing the trifecta, Baltimore also placed 29th in the list of most intelligent cities. So, not only does the rest of the country view us as ugly and mean. They think we're stupid too! I'm starting to feel like a pinata!

Let's try not to end on such a negative note. I have indeed seen some very friendly and attractive people around Baltimore. Of course, they were working at Hooters. But we've gotta start somewhere.

KW

Made In America

Just when I thought the overseas outsourcing couldn't get any worse, I found out today that Harley Davidson plans to build an assembly plant in India! Of course it's all in the name of business, but come on. We're talking about an American icon here! It's like baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet. (Actually, I think that certain Chevys are foreign made!)

I'm starting to wonder how long it will be before everything is made overseas. Several years ago, I bought a set of Craftsman wrenches from Sears. When you think of quality American tool brands, Craftsman immediately comes to mind. But to my surprise, when I got home I noticed that, instead of the familiar "Made in America" insignia, my new wrenches said "Made In China". I felt betrayed. When did this happen?

Along those same lines, I used to play a little guitar. One day back in the 1980's, I was killing some time in a local music store. I was gawking at the Fender Stratocasters behind the display case. For those who don't know, the Strat is an American icon in the music business. So anyway, I asked one of the store employees to let me check one out. Just as I'm getting ready to wail on the intro to Hell Bent For Leather, I notice that this particular Strat has an inscription that says "Made In Japan". I couldn't believe it. Jimi Hendrix must be rolling in his grave!

In a ironic twist, I bought my first foreign car in 1992. It happened to be a Honda Accord.. Afterwards, a good buddy of mine proceeded to bust my balls for not buying American. Since he drove an "all-American" Ford pick-up truck, he felt perfectly justified in making me feel like Jane Fonda. Well, upon further review, I discovered my Japanese Honda was actually made right here in the good ol' USA while my buddy's Ford was "assembled in Mexico". Kind of confusing, huh?

Unfortunately, I don't see the manufacturing jobs ever coming back to the US. The labor costs between the US and developing countries aren't even close. Of course, to some extent, we have cheap labor in America too. But it's usually at the hands of illegal immigrants.

Unfortunately, Made in America is quickly becoming a thing of the past.........

KW

Mid-Term Elections 2010

As a conservative, I feel pretty good today. The Republicans won big across the country last night in Obama’s first mid-term election. And if this doesn’t send the message that people are fed up with his radical idea of “change”, then he’s more clueless than I thought.

For the past couple of years, people in this country have been voicing their opposition to Obama’s radical visions of healthcare reform, cap & trade and wasteful stimulus packages. But did he listen? Hell, no. And, as a result, he paid the price last night by watching the Republicans take back the majority of the House of Representatives. The GOP also gained seats in the Senate, but the Democrats still retain a narrow majority (for now).

Although Sarah Palin and the TEA Party movement were vilified by the Left in this country, it didn’t really seem to matter to voters. Candidates endorsed by Palin and the TEA Party did remarkably well. Rand Paul, the TEA Party poster boy, won big in Kentucky. And despite a personal smear campaign by the Democrats against Nikki Haley in South Carolina, she prevailed and became the state's next Governor.

And how can you not love the success story of Florida's Marco Rubio? Rubio's victory speech was touching and inspirational. Born of Cuban exiles, Rubio is proof that America is indeed the land of opportunity. Don't be surprised to see this guy run for President one day.

Last year, I remember seeing Nancy Pelosi’s gloating face as she announced the passage of the healthcare bill. She rubbed a bill in our face that most of the Congress hadn’t even read! It made me sick. But Nancy doesn’t seem to be gloating today. In fact, she seems to be in hiding. And there’s probably a good reason for it. It gives me great pleasure to say this: As a result of last night’s Republican victories, Madame Nancy is no longer Speaker of the House. That felt so good, I’m going to say it again: Nancy Pelosi is no longer Speaker of the House! Don’t let the door hit you in the ass, Princess!

So, before the smoke has even cleared, we’re starting to hear the same ol’ political rhetoric. Democrats (including Obama) are now saying how they look forward to working with the Republicans. Aww, bullshit! That’s what you told us two years ago. Then you proceeded to push your liberal agenda with no attempt of “reaching across the aisle”. Please try to understand why I think you’re being less than truthful.

(On a local level, I’m a little disappointed that we’re still stuck with Martin O’Malley for four more years. Although, I really didn’t think Bob Erhlich had much of a chance in a heavy blue state, I was holding onto that little bit of hope.)

Overall, the people of this country have made a statement. They’re tired of the radical change that the Obama administration has been pushing over the past two years. Obama's twisted vision of "hope" has been exposed and people aren't buying it.  Do I personally think Obama will acknowledge this and move a little more to the center? No way. He is a narcissist and his ego will have no parts of a compromise.

So, over the next two years, expect a lot of bickering among the members of Congress. And this will only be exacerbated by the predictable incendiary remarks by Obama from time to time.

Get ready for a wild ride!

KW