Scents of a Springtime Drive

Yesterday afternoon, I was driving along with the windows down. The weather was unseasonably warm for an early spring day. Thinking of the classic Foghat song, it was a great opportunity for a slow ride and taking it easy. As I made my way across a local drawbridge, the smell of the water below made me think of springtime and all of the good things that come along with it. A small scattering of boaters on the creek reinforced the feeling.

Making my way to the other side of the bridge, the smell of grilled steak filled the air. Passing by a local BBQ place, I fought the urge to stop for a pit beef sandwich. But I knew I couldn't thoroughly enjoy an authentic pit beef sandwich without a cold beer So, knowing that I had places to go and people to see, I continued on my journey.

At some point, an unwelcome stench began to fill the cabin of my car. I'm not sure what it was or where it was coming from. All I can tell you is that it was putrid and it ambushed me with reckless abandon. If I had to describe it, I would say that it smelled like something crawled up a skunk's ass and died. It was actually worse than that. It smelled like whatever was up that skunk's ass was two weeks into the decomposition stage. I shook my head from side to side in an effort to capture any available pocket of fresh air. But the attempt was futile and I desperately fought the urge to gag. I instinctively rolled up the windows but this only trapped the tainted air that was already inside the car. (This situation would have been really uncomfortable if I would have had passengers in the car as everyone would have suspected that someone had floated a biscuit.) So anyway, I rolled the windows back down, including the ones in the back. and I punched the accelerator in hopes of generating maximum airflow. I eventually made it through the "turbulence" and came out the other side stunned but still conscious. As I stopped at a red light, I tried to figure out what the hell had just assaulted my nasal passage.

Well, the smorgasbord of smells wasn't quite over just yet. As I sat at the light in a state of semi-consciousness, the distinct aroma of marijuana presented itself. While I'm not a pot smoker, I have to admit, it was a much better smell than what I had experienced a few minutes ago. The source of the smoke was the car in front of me. It contained a group of youngsters who appeared to be auditioning for the remake of "Up In Smoke". I thought that I heard "Low Rider" in the distance, but this could have just been my imagination. As the sweet smoke made it's way into to my vehicle, my urge for pit beef slowly transitioned to a craving for Taco flavored Doritos. Knowing that I was dangerously close to catching a contact-high, I pulled into the next lane to get upwind. As I changed positions, The Chum Gang cut across two lanes of traffic and made a bee-line towards a Royal Farms store. Their quest for munchies obviously outweighed any regard for public safety.

While all of this was going on, I remembered that I had one of those tree-shaped air fresheners in the glove box. So, I opened it and hung it on my rear view mirror. Quickly, all of the other smells were flushed away by the fragrance of synthetic vanilla. Figuring that this was about as good as it was going to get, I took a deep breath made the most of it.....

kw

A Visit to The Library

So, yesterday I found myself at a local library.  Yeah, yeah, I know.....with Amazon Prime and the internet, what am I doing at the library? Just stay with me here...

A trip to the library always gives me a feeling of nostalgia. Back when I was a kid, I used to spend countless hours in our local Enoch Pratt library. There, I read about childhood heroes like Brooks Robinson and Evil Knievel while escaping from elements of the hot, humid Baltimore summer. I would sometimes "prepare" for an afternoon baseball game by reading up on how to throw a curve-ball or on the best approach in the batter's box. I'm not sure if any of these really helped me, but I always entered the game thinking that I had a clear mental edge over the competition.

Anyway, back to the present......

I walk into the local library yesterday and I'm almost knee-capped by two little rugrats who have transformed the entrance into their own little playground. Scattered books occupied the floor as the kids danced around them. The parents were nowhere to be seen. If John Walsh happened to walk in, they would have gotten a serious tongue-lashing. I gingerly step over a screaming kid and make my way toward the main area.

Surprisingly, the place is bustling with activity on this Saturday morning. I was somewhat surprised and began to wonder if they were giving away free McMuffins or something of the sort.

I made my way over to the audio-book section. Spending a ridiculous amount of time on any given week in DC traffic, I'll try almost anything to help ease the pain. Since drinking behind the wheel is heavily frowned upon, I rely on audio-books and music to help pass the time. The is where the library can be a valuable yet economical resource. Sure, I can afford to buy my own books and music. But since I pay a boatload of taxes to help fund the public libraries, why not use them? Call me frugally cheap but I'm ok with it.

As I pass through a seating area, I hear a group of older men have an loud, animated conversation. I guess they didn't get the memo about the library being a quiet place. These guys reminded me of the senior citizens that hang out all day at the Dunkin' Donuts. Of course, this gives ever more credibility to my McMuffin give-away theory.

These guys were yucking it up like they were at a corner bar during the corn-hole finals. Amazingly, even though they could be heard throughout the library, no one really seemed to be bothered by their commotion. As one of them would make a comment that dangerously toed the line of "offensibilty", the others would slap him on the back and laugh like they were listening to Richard Pryor.

And then, just when you think things couldn't get any louder, one of the guys' phones rings. It wasn't just any ring either. The piercing tone reverberated through the room like it was being blasted out of a Marshall stack. And then, in between laughs, the guy retracts the phone out of his pocket and announces, "Shit man!, Sorry guys, I gotta take this."

I can only imagine what revolutionary business deal awaited on the other end of the virtual line. Well, everyone would soon know. The guy answered the call and put it on speaker phone! As the guy initiates the one-on-one call, it soon becomes a conference call as the other members of the Breakfast Club began to chime in. At first, my reaction was WTF. But it soon transitioned into a comedic episode worthy of a Saturday Night Live skit. These guys were oblivious to any one else in the room. If these guys were having this good of a time at the library, I can only imagine what kind of party they throw at the Dunkin' Donuts.

I just shook my head as I gathered my items. I could still hear their slapstick routine as I walked out the door. I can hardly wait to see what's in store for me on the next visit....

kw