They Called Me Dumbo

Although childhood can be a time of fun and discovery, it can sometimes be quite trying. In my case, I grew up as a chubby (aka husky) kid. While I caught my share of "fatboy" comments, they didn't really bother me too much. I figured as soon as my love of Tasty-Klairs passed, I would be able to lose weight and be more like the rest of the neighborhood kids.

Anyway, the real issue that I had to deal with as a kid was my ears. By the time I was six years old, I had the biggest ears in the neighborhood. To make matters worse, they protruded from my head like a couple of luggage handles. I tried to pretend that I was just imagining things and that my ears were the same as everyone else. Well, the illusion was shattered as soon as the Dumbo remarks started. Kids that I didn't even know would point out my "elephant ears". And I can remember several wannabe comedians telling me to "fly away". I always tried to laugh it off. Sometimes I would try defend myself by saying something stupid like, "My ears might be big but at least I can hear better than you!" This would only make the kids laugh harder.

I can remember mentioning all of this it to my mom. Of course, she thought I was being silly. When I brought up the possibly of plastic surgery, she thought I was absolutely crazy. I would try to justify it by offering to donate a portion of my ears to needy kids in Africa. I soon realized that my efforts were futile and that I was going to be stuck with these things for life.

There was a guy on the Baltimore Colts named Roger Carr. He was a wide receiver who could catch anything. Along with his ability to catch a football, he also had a set of ears that stuck out like a couple of radar dishes. I would sometimes point this out to my friends in an attempt to illustrate that even sports heroes could have big ears.

When I reached my teenage years, I let my hair grow long in an effort to hide my ears. Although it worked, the side effect was the never-ending arguments with my dad. He would constantly badger me about getting a haircut and tell me that I looked like a girl. I tried to plead my case by telling him that I was taking a verbal beating from the neighborhood kids. He would point out that he also had large ears and he didn't care what people thought. Although I could certainly sympathize with him, it didn't help my situation. I really didn't care if I looked like a girl or a sheepdog, it was better than looking like Dumbo. 

But then, something miraculous happened.......

As the rest of my body continued to grow, my ears didn't. By the time I was eighteen, the rest of my head had pretty much caught up to my ears. It took me a few more years to gain enough self-confidence to get a real haircut. The first time I went out in public with my ears fully exposed was a scary experience. I walked into a crowded shopping mall feeling like I was naked. I tried to catch the reaction of the passing shoppers. I was waiting them to do a double take when I walked by. But no one seemed to notice me. This was very liberating and I felt as if I had been reborn.

Through the years, I've learned to laugh about my ailments or inadequacies. But I have to admit, I'm sure glad that my ears aren't one of them anymore.....

kw