A Father's Story

When I first found out that I was going to be father, I had no idea of what to do. Barely out of high school, the mere thought of being a parent terrified me. How could I possibly take care of a child when I could barely take care of myself? What kind of chance could the kid possibly have with me as his father?

Honestly, I didn’t know if I was even capable of being a good father. After all, I had absolutely no experience in this department. But there was no turning back now. There would soon be a brand new baby boy in the world who would be calling me Dad. My life was about to change…….

So, I prepared the baby seat in my car for my new little passenger. We would take many rides together in the upcoming years. And although my infant son was still developing his communication skills, a strong bond was already forming. The anxiety of being a new father was quickly disappearing. And I started to believe that I might actually be able to pull off this father thing after all.

Before long, I was sitting through Disney movies, coaching Little League baseball and running to countless basketball games on the weekends. And whether we were casting our fishing lines into a nearby creek or tossing a football in the backyard, the quality time we spent together was priceless. And although I’m sure I taught my son a few things, what I got in return was much, much more. Fatherhood is truly a gift.

While raising a child is rewarding, there are occasional bumps in the road. The initial reaction of most parents is to protect the child. And although I didn’t really understand it at first, I soon realized that you must allow your kids to learn from their mistakes. As my son got older, when he occasionally got into a jam, he knew that I would be there to support and advise him. But he would ultimately have to solve his own problems. From this, he learned responsibility.

In the blink of an eye, the first weekend of June 2004 was here. This would turn out to be one of the toughest weekends of my life. On the Friday of that weekend, my son graduated high school. Obviously, I was as proud as any parent could be. We celebrated and had a nice graduation party at the house the following day.

On the Sunday of that same weekend, my emotions took a u-turn. This was the day that my son would head off to boot camp for the US Army. That afternoon, several family members gathered at the house and waited for the Army recruiter to pick him up. As they drove away, I felt like part of my life was driving away with them. I realized that this would be the last time I would see my boy. The next time I saw him, he would be a man.

And although this took place over eighteen years, it seemed like it happened overnight.

My son is all grown up now and is ready to take on the world. He has already accomplished many things in his young life but his potential is limitless.. I’m not really sure how much impact I had on his life. But he has become a tremendous young man and that’s more than any parent could ask for.

Shortly before he shoved off to boot camp, my son said to me, “Dad, I hope I can make you proud.” The truth of the matter is that I have been proud ever since the first day he entered this world. From that point, anything he accomplished was icing on the cake. My pride continues to grow everyday.

Although this is my personal story, I’m sure there are countless Dad’s with similar tales. I applaud everyone of you. I truly believe that the character of a man can be judged by how good of a father he is.

Happy Father’s Day!

KW

Business Travel

I'm writing this as I fly home from Chicago. Yeah, I know it's not a big deal, but since joining the Mile High Club is out of the question, this is about exciting as it's going to get. So, let's talk....

Over the past twenty years, between training and remote projects, I've occasionally been required to travel for my job. When I was younger, traveling brought a welcomed change to the regular routine. Not only did I get to see some new places and eat at nice restaurants, but the company picked up the tab. Yeah, there was a little work involved, but I still viewed it as a mini-vacation.

The one thing I still haven't learned after all of these years is how to pack. While most guys can bring all of their necessities in a small carry-on bag, I bring along a gargantuan sized suitcase. It usually takes about three airline agents to check it in at the airport. When I meet up with my co-workers in the remote airport, they will usually say stuff like, “Damn boy, are you moving out here or what? You don't have a body in that bag, do you???”

What can I say? I like to be prepared!

For instance, as senseless as it is, I always pack some workout clothes. These days, the only workout that I get is the walk down to the hotel bar to grab a beer. However, when I was younger, things were somewhat different. I would sometimes run on the treadmill while sipping on a Miller Lite (thus the need for the workout clothes). But I eventually got tired of the strange looks and snide comments from the hotel staff. So, now I avoid the workout room altogether and just sip my beer in the bar. (But I still pack my workout clothes, just in case.)

Here's another thing I used to do. When I arrived at my hotel and unpacked my suitcase, I would notice all of my dress clothes were severely wrinkled. So, unless I wanted to look like a shar-pei at the office in the morning, I had to come up with a plan. My solution was to turn the hot water on in the shower and let it run for about an hour and a half. This would create steam that would take the wrinkles out of Joan River's ass! The good news was that my clothes looked great. The bad news was that everyone would be taking cold showers for the rest of the evening. Years later, someone informed me that there was an household item called an iron that worked pretty well on wrinkled clothes. I soon learned to use the iron and hot showers were back on at the Hilton!

While I was in Denver for a training class years ago, I had another interesting adventure. Back then, the company I worked for was really cutting back on expenses. The only way they would pay for a rental car is if you were an international employee. So, the first day of class I started to introduce myself to the rest of my classmates. Eventually, one of the guys replies in a heavy German accent. Jackpot! I've got wheels for the rest of the trip!

The only thing we had in common was that we were both fans of the German rock band, the Scorpions. But that was enough to secure shotgun for the week. I'm figuring that since this guy is from Germany, he's going to be driving an Audi or perhaps a Mercedes sedan. But to my amazement, he introduces me to his Ford Escort! Now, I'm well over six foot and two hundred pounds. And the German guy is even bigger than me. So, the thought of us squeezing into this tiny ass car all week was downright depressing. Then, just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, he tells me that we've got two more guys who will be riding with us!

Keep in mind that we're in Colorado. There's a lot of mountains. A Ford Escort is probably the worst possible vehicle four grown men could have in this situation. As we ascended up one of the steeper graded roads, I actually thought the car was going to start rolling backwards. We were all scared but no one wanted to say anything. We just put our fate in the driving skills of the German. After all, he's driven on the Autobahn, right? Well, during this tense moment, for reasons unknown, the he spills a cup of coffee into one the heating vents on the dashboard. Then, he instinctively turns the fan on high. This causes coffee to spray out onto everyone. Somehow, this amuses him. I guess they don't have Comedy Central in Europe? This was all I could take. I made up my mind that the was going to be my last road trip with the German. Once we got back to the hotel, I immediately started my search for a new international friend. (As a parting shot to the German, I tell him that everything that the Scorpions released after Love At First Sting sucked!)

In the hotel bar, I soon struck up a conversation with a nice Brit who was in my class. His name was Ian and he had a Toyota Forerunner. I got along splendidly with the ol' chap..

I ran into a new dilemma on my last trip. I bought a six pack of some really good beer. When I got to my room, I realized that the bottles were not the twist-off type. (Afraid of setting off the alarms and being strip searched by the TSA agents at the airport, I left my bottle opening at home.) As crazy as it sounds, I panicked. I started looking around the room for anything that would serve as an impromptu opener. I tried the TV remote, the curtain rods, the bed frame and every piece of plumbing I could see. But nothing seemed to work. My last option was the security latch on my entrance door. So, I put the bottle into the mechanism and yanked it. The cap finally came off of the bottle but I wound up spilling half of the beer into the electronic door lock. It sparked and made a few strange noises, but it only lasted for a minute or so. Amazingly, the lock still worked afterward. Maybe next time, I'll just stick with the twist-off bottles!

Traveling is always an adventure........

KW

Day 45 - The Spill Continues

Alright, now we’re into day 45 and the oil is still gushing into the gulf. Recent efforts by BP have continued to be unsuccessful. The “top kill” method last week was useless. And yesterday’s attempt to cut through the vertical oil pipe ended with the saw getting stuck. The good news is that the pipe was eventually cut with a pair of “shears” (where can I get a pair of those??). The bad news is that now the oil is blowing out of the open pipe like an underwater smokestack.

And predictably, President Obama continues to distance himself from the situation. When not reminding us that it’s BP’s fault, the President found some time to relax in Chicago and listen to Paul McCartney at the White House. The Messiah serenaded the First Lady with the Beatles classic song, Michelle. I guess now that the original love story is over between Tipper and Al, the Obama’s win by default? (By the way, McCartney took the opportunity to do a little Bush bashing. Basically saying that the former President doesn’t know what a library is. Hey Paul, just shut up and sing asshole!)

So, the Obama's partied while the situation in the Gulf grew dire. Balls of oil were floating towards Florida. And some experts say that the oil slick could reach the east coast within weeks.

People are growing increasingly impatient with Obama’s lackadaisical attitude towards the spill. The Ragin’ Cajun himself, James Carville, blasted Obama recently. As he said, “people are dyin’ down here”! (Hmmm, sounds a little like what we heard during Hurricane Katrina. Can you imagine Bush having a sing-along with Sir Paul during that one?)

Even film director Spike Lee has urged the Prez to stop being so calm and collected. He says it’s time to “go off!” That’s right! You tell ‘em, Spike!

And although not for the same reasons, media whore Jesse Jackson has also chimed in. He’s suggested that we boycott BP. What’s wrong Super Jesse? Did BP not fulfill their minority hiring quota for the month? Seriously, how is any of this going to help anything? Many BP gas stations are privately owned. If we boycott them, the small business owner feels the brunt of the pain.

In his defense, earlier in the week, Obama did indeed send someone from the administration down the Gulf region. Attorney General Eric Holder took the trip south, but not to help with the efforts or anything. He was just going to down to see if there were any grounds to pursue criminal charges against the BP folks. Yeah, this should really help them concentrate on stopping the leak. Hurry up and plug up the leak so you can go to jail!

And there have even been rumblings about the government taking over BP. Wow, from the recent government takeover of the banking and auto industries, as well as the healthcare system, I never saw this one coming! (By the way, isn’t BP a British owned company? So, how could the US government take it over even if it wanted to?)

But honestly, do you really think that the Feds want to be involved in this mess? The minute they take it over, it becomes their problem. Sorry, but our government’s ability to solve problems makes me a little less than optimistic.

So, there will be another attempt to cap the oil leak in the next day or so. If it actually works is anyone’s guess. We can only hope so. Then we can finally move on to the next phase: the massive clean up………

KW

Memorial Day

By now, most of us are fully absorbed into the long Memorial Day weekend. Maybe you're spending some time at the beach. Or perhaps you're preparing for the family cookout. No matter what is on your agenda this weekend, please take a moment to remember what Memorial Day is all about.

Whether it involved the storming of the beaches of Normandy, trudging through the jungles of Vietnam or sweating it out in the desserts of Iraq, our military has always stepped up to the plate. And although the outcomes have been different over the years, our brave men and women of the US military have consistently shined. Because when the going gets tough, they go in and take care of business. And although they sometimes might be scared as hell, they do it anyway. And that, my friends, is the definition of bravery!

Keep in mind that many of our soldiers went right from high school into the battlefield. They never got  the chance to spend the summer at the beach drinking beer and chasing girls. Instead, they spent their days halfway around the world dodging stray bullets, ambushes and roadside bombs. And when we send our sons and daughters into these conflicts. we're always optimistic that they'll return home safely. You really have to have that mindset to get through it.  And while most of them do indeed return home safely, some do not......

So many of our brave men and women of the U.S. military gave all to preserve the freedoms that we still enjoy in America today. For anyone who ever served our country, I sincerely thank you. But to those who made the ultimate sacrifice, I can't put my gratitude into words. You will never be forgotten and our country is forever in your debt. 

Please keep these brave men and women in your your thoughts, not only today, but everyday. Without their unselfish dedication and brave sacrifice, we would not have this beautiful thing we call freedom. 



kw

Random Things That Annoy Me

1. Squirrels - If you're going to go, then GO! Why do you run halfway into the street then break into a Michael Jackson routine?? If you want to know why the squirrel crossed the road, he didn't. He got squashed halfway through his moonwalk!

2. Women who ask men - "Do these pants make my ass look fat?" - Come on, Ladies. If you gotta ask, you probably already know the answer. Why drag us into it??

3. Grocery store employees - Don't ask if there's anything you can help me with, then look at me funny when I say, "Yeah, where can I find the barbarque pork rinds?"

4. Camel Crickets - Indigenous to Glen Burnie, these things are not only ugly, but they're extremely aggressive. It's not uncommon to see one of them waiting patiently on the ceiling like a ninja ready to pounce on you. Your only defense is an open flame and a can of hair spray. (Be careful around the curtains)

5. Dreadlocks - Unless you can do a kick-ass version of  "No Woman, No Cry", it's time to wash your hair.

6. Smart Cars - They actually look kind of stupid to me......

7. Plumbing Projects - No matter how much duct tape I use, there will always be a leak.

8. Bees - I tested that old wives tale about "if you don't bother them, they won't bother you". The result? An excruciating painful burning sensation that throbbed for several hours.

9. Electronics - Ten minutes after I buy the latest and greatest gadget, they come out with a new and improved version.

10. Old Wannabe Rock Stars - The Iggy Pop look just doesn't fly when you're working at the local Radio Shack. The time to lose the ear rings, torn jeans and fish head tennis shoes is long overdue.

11. Humidity. If it weren't for cigars, humidity would have no use at all.

12. DJ's who say "This one goes out by request." - As if that somehow makes the song better. 


13. People who drive 20 mph under the posted speed limit - My blood pressure always goes through the roof when I get behind one of these drivers. I'm really concerned that one day my head will explode.

14. Check out lines -When a new line opens, why is it that the last person in the old line always gets to be the first person in the new line? I always feel the urge to trip them as they pass me.

15. Crooked baseball caps - Are you a dumbass? Or are you just trying to look like one?

16. Pot holes - When people turn up missing in Baltimore, the city's pot holes would be a great place to start the search. (I once saw a low-riding Cadillac Eldorado with spinner rims get swallowed up near the Lexington Market.)

17. Cigarette smoke - Yeah, I smoke an occasional cigar, but it's different.

18. Hard boiled eggs. I don't particularly like the taste of them, plus they smell like ass.

19. The emergency room - You can always count on kids running rampant and at least one redneck sleeping across three or four seats. And, of course, you have to listen to bitching and moaning from almost everyone else.

20. Loudmouths with cell phones - I can't stand when my own conversation is drowned out by some moron on a cell phone at the next table. I'm not the least bit interested in hearing about your favorite American Idol contestant or what you've got planned for the weekend.

21. Pseudo handicapped people - I'm talking about the ones who will pull into a handicapped spot (with handicapped tags), then sprint to the front door like Carl Lewis.

22. The Baltimore Orioles - Remember when they used to win?? Contrary to popular belief, the movie Eight Men Out was not based on the Oriole's starting line-up.

23. Commercials - Years ago, wasn't cable television offered (for a fee) so we wouldn't have to sit through commercials? What happened? Thank God for DVR's!

24, Leaves - Why can't they just be happy and stay in the tree??

25. The door lady at the local BJ's - You know the one...(Hello, how are you, thank you, bye-bye, how ya doin', have a good one, ok, bye-bye now). The other day she had the line backed up halfway through the store!

KW

Will Work For Food (and Kung Fu Lessons)

As I sit at a random red light in the city, I see a man in dirty tattered clothing weaving his way through the stopped traffic. He’s got a barely legible cardboard sign in one hand and a large plastic cup in the other. For the most part, everyone pretends not to notice him. But every now and then, someone will reach out and drop a few coins into the man’s cup. If someone’s feeling especially generous, he might collect a dollar bill. As the light turns green, he scurries back to the median and waits for his next opportunity. This ritual continues indefinitely……

Between my job and my various social activities, I spend a fair amount of time in downtown Baltimore. I never have to drive too far before I start to run into the panhandlers with the “Will Work For Food” signs. It’s easy enough to feel sorry for these people, but after you see enough of them you naturally start to get numb to the whole thing.

I often wondered how these people wound up in such a state of despair. I mean, it must be really bad when you’ve exhausted any hint of hospitality from your family and/or friends. Who knows, maybe these people have no family. But nonetheless, it’s pretty pathetic to have to rely on the sympathy of total strangers for support. You really have to wonder about the story behind some of these people.

There’s one guy who sets up shop downtown on President Street near the Jones Falls Expressway. The initial sight of him tells me that his life has been less than ideal. The poor guy has three prosthetic limbs. Yes, three! It’s sad to watch him hobble through the traffic on his two artificial legs. But when he struggles to grasp his collection cup with his left hook, it's almost too much too take. Not surprising, the “crowd” usually has a pretty easy time finding a buck of two for him.

Before the County Executive clamped down on panhandling in my town, we had our share of interesting street peddlers.. For instance, there was a heavy set guy who used to work various parts of Ritchie Highway. Judging from the guy’s weight, he seemed to be eating pretty good (which casts a little suspicion on the whole "begging for food" thing). But the thing that stood out the most on this guy was the gaping open wound on his lower leg. I honestly don’t know how gangrene didn’t eventually set it. But for what seemed like years, this guy would work the traffic with his rotting leg in full view. Even in the winter, he would roll up his pants leg on the bad leg to make sure everyone saw it. (One time I caught sight of it just as I bit into a 7-11 Big Bite. Let's just say that my appetite quickly disappeared.)

Amazingly, this guy somehow had the ability to get around. Through the years, I’ve also seen him panhandling near Camden Yards, the corner of Falls Road and Northern Parkway and once, across town on Security Boulevard. Not bad for a guy who’s leg appears ready to fall off. I guess in the world of panhandlers, he would be considered to be “on tour”.

There was also a strange woman who used to do her thing on the corner of Ritchie Highway and Jumpers Hole Road. I don’t want to be too harsh, but this woman was right out of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. She would dance and sing for every new batch of stopped cars. She would sometimes spit out quotes of famous people then transition into a radio DJ routine. Then other times, she would go into a delusional rant then spontaneously break into tears. In an instant, it could go from being humorous to downright disturbing. I really felt bad for this woman and truly believe that she was mentally ill. I have no idea what ever happened to her. I hope she got the help she needed or at least wound up in a better place…..

And to lighten things up, some panhandlers like to get creative. On a recent trip to New York City, my brother-in-law and I met an interesting guy. While we were sitting in an Irish bar on Broadway, a homeless guy was out front was flipping through a series of signs in an attempt to get our attention. We eventually went outside and joked with the man. Surprisingly, he was friendly and in great spirits (as were we, thanks to the attentiveness of the bartender at the Irish bar!). One of the guy’s signs said, “Ninjas kidnapped my family. I need money for Kung Fu lessons!” (There were a few others that are probably best left unsaid). He had us rolling! We wound up dropping him a few bucks for the entertainment.

I’m sure you have seen your own cast of characters on the streets. Maybe you’ve even seen the ones I’ve described. I’m not saying that some or even most of these people didn’t put themselves in these positions. There’s no doubt in my mind, that if you helped some of these people, they would inevitably wind up back they started. And I can certainly understand the frustration with that. After all, if someone doesn’t want to help themselves, then why should I feel compelled to do it?

But nonetheless, the panhandlers with the cardboard signs are always going to be there. And whether they’re working for food, booze or Kung Fu lessons, they’ll always spark an interest in their own peculiar ways…..

KW

The Big Spill

So, here we are, thirty-four days into the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. And it still doesn’t appear that anyone has a clue how to stop it. The blame game is usually reserved for the aftermath in situations like this. But with the monstrosity of this one, everyone is already going on the defensive and pointing the finger at someone else.

And, let’s face it, this is a no win situation. The Obama administration knows this. That’s why they’ve sat back and idly watched the multiple failed attempts by BP to plug the leak. Nothing good can come out of this, so not surprising,  the administration has conveniently distanced itself from it as long as possible (If Bush were in office, the media would have already tarred and feathered him. No pun intended.)  But like it or not, eventually someone is going to have to take control of this.

(On a side note, Obama received $77,000 in campaign contributions from BP. And you thought only Republicans were buddies with the oil companies?)

Some members of the Obama administration flew over the site of the spill earlier today. Afterwards, at the press conference, the blame game continued. All I heard was, “It’s BP’s fault. BP will be held responsible. BP will pay for the cleanup.” (Well, I guess they can’t blame Bush this time, so BP works just fine).

Ok, so it’s BP’s fault. I think we’ve got that. But let’s not loose sight of the fact that THE OIL IS STILL GUSHING OUT!!!! Will someone please do something before the whole freggin’ gulf coast is destroyed??? Call me selfish, but I love those “Maryland” blue crabs that come from Louisiana! I prefer mine with Old Bay, not Gulf Oil!!!

What blows my mind about this whole thing is that there didn’t seem to be any contingency plan in place. I mean, when the oil guys are sitting around having a few beers, don’t they ever say, “Hey man, what the hell would we do if we ever sprung a leak???” I would have to think that it came up at some point!

So, BP’s next attempt to stop the leak will involve shooting cement in to the hole. We’re being told the chance of success is sixty to seventy percent. For the sake of the gulf region, I hope it works!

KW