Fifty years is a long time. And it's a very long time for two people to be married. And it's an especially long time for two people with personalities like my parents....
For those who know my parents, you'll get a kick out of this. For those who never met them, please allow me to introduce them to you........For the past 10-15 years, we have been getting together weekly for dinner at my parents house. It keeps us close as a family and gives us a chance to keep up on what's going on in each others lives. But dinner at the Wilson's can sometimes have it's moments.
For instance, ever since Caller-ID made it's debut at my parents house, phone calls are always an adventure. The phone will ring and my Dad will quickly head to the caller-ID box to see who's calling. The whole time he's trying to uncover the mystery caller, my Mom will be chiming in with, "Who is it, Ervin? Are You gonna answer it? That might be the call I was waiting for. Why don't you just pick it up?"
Of course, my dad, not being a man of great patience, fires back," It's says 'unknown', Linda. And I don't answer the phone is it's an unknown!"
As the phone continues to ring, my mom will remind him that she's waiting for an important phone call.
My dad, getting increasing aggravated, will say, "Damn it Linda, what part of unknown don't you understand? If I don't know who it is, I ain't answering it!"
Eventually, the answering machine will kick in and sure enough, it will turn out to be that important call that my mother was waiting for. Then, literally like clockwork, bird noises will begin to chirp out of the large collection of wall clocks my Dad has accumulated over the years. As he finally picks up the phone, he tries his best to answer it in spite of the three part harmony of cuckoo clocks in the background. My mom is relentless through the whole thing. As my dad tries to talk to the person on the other end of the line, my mom keeps hammering away by saying, "What is he saying, Ervin? Ask him about this? About him about that?"
Of course, my dad gets more and more frustrated until he finally takes the phone away from his ear and says, "Dammit Linda. I'm tryin' to talk over here!" He'll eventually hang up, seldom getting any of my mother's questions answered. This, of course, always leads to another round of bickering....
My mom might be in a wheelchair, but don't let that fool you. She can definitely hold her own. Some people might even say that she likes to be in control. Several years ago, around the holidays, she asked me to pick up a bottle of Egg Nog for her. There was one particular brand that she wanted, if I'm not mistaken it was Pennsylvania Dutch. Well anyway, after she told me several times, she insisted that I write it down on paper. So, I scribbled Pennsylvania Dutch Egg Nog on a piece of paper and headed off to the local Goldberg's liquor store. I walk into the store and just as I begin to scan the shelves, the phone at the front of the store rings. The cashier puts his hand over the receiver and yells to me, "Hey bud, is your name Ken?"
Trying to decide whether I should answer him or just crawl under one of the shelves, I finally reply, "Yep, that would be me."
He then says, "I've got your mother on the phone. She says to make sure you get her the Pennsylvania Dutch Egg Nog." Of course, as my luck would have it, the store was packed. But, in the end, mom got her special egg nog and she was happy.
I can remember another time when my mother sent my dad to the grocery store for a few things. One of the items happened to be pancake syrup. But not just any pancake syrup, it had to be Aunt Jemina. Well, after my dad gets home and starts to unload the grocery bags, my mom quickly discovers that he picked up some off-brand syrup. She lays into him about how she specifically asked for Aunt Jemina. She reminded him that she gave him a list and demanded to know why he deliberately disobeyed her request. Losing his patience, he finally said, "Linda, I ain't buy no Aunt Jemima pancake syrup!" My mother wasn't letting up and still demanded to know why. My dad finally reached his breaking point and said, "Because I didn't like the way the woman on the bottle was looking at me!" You gotta give it to him, he's original....
And another interesting thing about my dad, is that he's become Mr. Bargain Hunter when it comes to grocery shopping. He'll clip coupons out of the Sunday paper to prepare for his shopping day later in the week. Sometimes, depending on how the coupons work out, he'll stop at five different stores to get five different items. He likes to tell us about the great deals that he gets. On at least one occasion, he had so many coupons and discount points, after all his items were scanned, the store practically gave him money.
Many of you know that my dad worked as a carpenter for most of his adult life. Well, over the past couple of years he has put down his hammer and transitioned into the lawnmower king of the East Coast. He often spends his days scouring the earth looking for discarded and neglected lawn mowers that he will ultimately give a second chance at life. For anyone who's willing to listen, he will gladly tell you about his success stories. If you're really lucky, like I am sometimes, he'll start one of them up for you. I'll admit, I'm no lawnmower man, so all I hear is a loud gasoline engine. But to my dad, it's like listening to the Briggs and Stratton symphony orchestra. I'm not saying that he's obsessed with lawn mowers, but even if you happen to be talking about politics, religion or a football game, the conversation always seems to end up with my dad giving you an education on how to clean a dirty carburetor or how to sharpen a mulching blade.
And speaking of football, when my dad has a little downtime from his lawnmower empire, he likes to spend time watching his favorite football team, the Baltimore Ravens. He always gets especially excited when his favorite player, Ray Lewis makes a big play..........Of course, I'm kidding. My dad is no fan of the Ravens. A word of warning .....If you ever say, "How about those Ravens!" around him, expect to get an earful. If you really push the issue, he'll resort to his coffee can full of anti-Raven's newspaper clippings.
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There are plenty of other funny stories, but on a serious note, my parents are both truly wonderful people. Although my mother may have been set back by Multiple Sclerosis, she never let it break her spirit. She continues to live everyday to the fullest with one of the best attitudes that I've ever seen. And even when she's in serious pain and discomfort, I have never once heard her complain. She might be limited physically, but she makes up for it with mental toughness. She's the strongest person I've ever known.
As for my dad, he can sometimes come off as being a no-nonsense, old-school tough guy, but in reality he has a heart of gold. Whether I need a helping hand or just some good advice, he's always there. He's a good man and he taught me a lot through the years.
So, with that I'd like everyone to raise their glasses and let's toast Linda and Erv. May they have another fifty years together!
kw
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