First off, I'm scratching my head trying to figure out why Joaquin is pronounced Wah-keen. I looked look and hard but I can find either an "h" nor a "k" in the name. I guess it's kinda the same way Jesus is pronounced Hey-soose. Oh well, let's move on...
Since we happen to be in the political season, I named a few after some of our more colorful politicians. In any event, I give you my list of hurricane names (and descriptions) for the upcoming season:
Hurricane Donald - This abrasive storm rolls across the country and upsets every apple cart along the way. Afterward, it ostentatiously beats it's chest and says, "That's right, I'm bad. Watch the hair!"
Hurricane Bernie - This one targets the affluent neighborhoods along the coast, sucking piles of money up through the mansion chimneys. From there it travels to the hood where it redistributes the cash in the form of a paper rain storm.
Hurricane Hillary - Not to be confused with Hurricane Monica, this one blows into town with reckless persistence. And afterwards, when she's accused of any damages, Hurricane Hillary simply denies that she had anything to do with it.
Hurricane Martin - After wreaking havoc on Maryland, this one quickly fizzles out before inflicting further damage to the rest of the country.
Hurricane Stephanie - Given plenty of room to destroy, the computers models all have this storm on a direct path to the CVS and nearby liquor stores in the Baltimore area.
Hurricane Hogan - Gathering strength in Annapolis, this storm rolls into Baltimore and picks up the pieces left behind by Hurricane Stephanie.
Ok, enough of the political stuff. Here are few lighter ones.......
Hurricane Phil - This storm methodically moves it's way up the coast as it tries to make the other hurricanes feel guilty about the damage that they've done.
Hurricane Maury - Performs DNA tests for the other hurricanes to determine the father of illegitimate squalls.
Hurricane Caitlyn - Formally a himicane, this storm has the unique ability to convert to a tornado.
Hurricane Bruno - This rhythmic hurricane heads straight uptown and funks it up.
Hurricane Taylor - This one swiftly moves up the East Coast before it's abruptly interrupted by a western hot air mass known as Tropical Storm Kayne.
Hurricane Bieber - More of an annoyance than a hurricane, this whiny little storm is similar to having a fly in your bedroom in the middle of the night.
Hurricane Cosby - Forcibly makes it's way inland and drops a hailstorm of roofies into the drinks of unsuspecting female hurricanes.
Hurricane Housewives - A unique configuration, this group of hurricanes collides and then sits around the living room and calls each other bitches.
All right, I think that's enough names to get us through the season. Everyone, try to stay dry this weekend and let's hope Wah-keen loses steam soon!
kw
* http://kensmouthpiece.blogspot.com/2010/09/whats-in-hurricane-name_03.html
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