Sometime back in the mid-90's, I was on a family vacation in Ocean City, MD. Even my Dad made a rare appearance at the beach resort. I say this because my Dad liked the beach about as much as he liked the Ravens. Anyway, it was nice to have everyone together.
While the girls were all planning a day out on the beach, the guys were busy planning something a little more adventurous. We finally decided to rent a boat and do a little fishing in the nearby Assawoman Bay.
On the way to the boat rental place, we discussed the big fish fry that we expected to have later in the evening. As we entered a local bait shop, I was delighted to see that offered to clean your fish for $1 each. I thought this was a fair deal. Although I liked catching them, the thought of gutting and filleting a fish never really appealed to me. This is probably why I was never much of a hunter but that's another story...
Our fishing team was comprised of my Dad, my two brothers-in-law (Tim and Tom) and myself. No one was gonna mistake us for those guys you see on the ESPN fishing shows, but we were still beaming with a respectable amount of angler optimism. We secured our small aluminium jon-boat and then headed out to sea (Ok, it was actually the bay, but sea sounds much more impressive).
Once we found a comfortable spot in the middle of the bay, we took care item #1: dispersing a fresh round of beers. My Dad didn't drink but we certainly didn't let him deter the rest of us. With cold beverages in hand, we proceeded to cast our lines out into the short distance. Now, all there was to do was wait and break each other's balls over who would land the biggest fish.
Tom drew first blood when he landed a small perch. It was nothing impressive but he earned the initial bragging rights of the day. He unhooked it and tossed it back into the water.
A short time later, my Dad caught a small flounder. I'm not sure if you have ever seen a flounder but it's a pretty odd looking fish. First off, it's brown (and sometimes spotted) on one side and white on the other. And, it's a "flatfish" so, instead of swimming vertically, it swims horizontally. But most peculiar is that both of it's eyes are on the same side of it's body. And if that's not bad enough, these bulging eyes often seem to be staring in opposite directions. The flounder is like the Marty Feldman of the sea. But for what it might lack in appearance, it's actually quite delicious.
Meanwhile, thoughts of a landing a large swordfish danced through my mind. After all, we were in the self-proclaimed white marlin capital of the world. Then, I thought about what I would do with such a large fish. I don't think you actually eat a white marlin. At least, I've never seen it in a restaurant or grocery store. But nonetheless, the image of hauling a five-foot fish back to the bait shop and asking the guy to clean it for a buck amused me..
I took another sip of my beer which had become luke-warm due to the mid-morning sun. I casually looked at the tip of my fishing rod in hopes of seeing a spontaneous tug. Nothing was happening so I reached into the cooler to grab a fresh beer. Just as I leaned over, I noticed that my rod was now bent over like the upper part of a question mark. I dropped my unopened beer and quickly grabbed the rod. I gave it a tug to make sure that the hook was set into whatever beast happened to be on the other end. As I wound up the slack on the line, I could feel the monster fish swimming wildly from side to side.
The whole time I was reeling it in, I was talking crap to the other guys. I was saying things like, "Let me show you guys how to catch a real fish. Stand back and let a real fisherman work his magic." You get the picture....
As brought my trophy fish closer to the boat, I had a moment of panic when I realized that we didn't have a gaff (this is one of of those large hooks that you use to pull large fish out of the water). When I brought my concern up to the rest of the guys, all I got was a chorus of laughter.
The moment had finally come as I wound up the final few feet of my line. As the fish's head broke the surface of the water, I quickly realized that it was not a marlin. And perhaps, most disappointing, it was just an average size and "regular" looking fish. So, I swallowed my pride and brought it on-board and began the unhooking process. That's when things got crazy.....
While I was holding the fish with one hand and manipulating the hook with the other, the fish seemed to be growing. At first, I figured that the hot sun and warm beer had affected my perception. But it turned out that I wasn't seeing things. This fish was actually blowing up like a balloon. Out of sheer panic, I dropped it onto the floor of the boat. I can't remember for certain, but I think it actually bounced. It was one of the craziest things that I has ever seen. The other guys are laughing their collective asses off as I'm squirming around looking like Captain Quint in his farewell scene in "Jaws".
Shielding my eyes, I shouted, "Watch out, I think it's gonna explode! I'm serious!" This only brought out more laughter. I have to admit, it was refreshing to see my Dad having such a good time. Even if it was at my expense. He ultimately wound up saving the day when he reached over and picked up the fish and gingerly tossed it overboard. When it hit the water, it looked more like a duck than a fish. But it quickly deflated itself and disappeared under the surface of the bay. My Dad later explained that this was some type of blowfish that inflates itself when it gets nervous. I was actually more nervous than the fish was but the only thing inflated on me was my heart rate. I had seen these things on NatGeo or the Discovery channel but I had no idea that they existed in Ocean City.
I picked up what was left of my pride and tossed my freshly baited line back into the water. Before long, I had another nibble. I reeled the line in and anticipated what strange creature I would meet this time. Well, it turns out that that truth can sometimes be stranger than fiction.When I pulled this particular fish out of the water, it had wings! That's right, it had a large freggin' wing on each side. I could almost hear the theme song from "The Twilight Zone" playing in the distance and I scanned the shoreline for a nuclear power plant. As the half-bird/half-fish flopped on the floor of the boat, I just stared in utter amazement. Was it possible that I just caught some kind of prehistoric missing link? Up until this point, the only flying fish that I had seen were those fish that the guys throw to each other out in Seattle.
My Dad and brothers-in-law weren't quite as impressed with my latest catch. Apparently, they had all seen this type of fish before. They informed me that it was called a sea robin. I guess I don't get out much because I had no idea that this thing existed. It looked like the "Creature From The Black Lagoon" to me.
We spent the rest of the day pulling up "normal" fish and swapping stories. Although it nearly gave me a heart attack, it was a great day on the water. Feeling somewhat smarter and experienced, I now knew what a blowfish and sea robin were. And although we came home with no fish, I brought back some great memories. And that's better than a stuffed flounder any day.
kw
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