Sunday, December 22, 2019

Hypnotized By An Infomercial

This morning, I woke up, made my way down the stairs and followed the aroma of freshly brewed coffee. After pouring myself a large cup of the tasty stimulant, I plopped myself into my recliner and fired up the TV.

I never know what visual treats will await me first thing in the morning. But today, I was greeted with one of those traditional Time-Life commercials. On this particular morning, a couple of people were hawking a 150-song CD collection that featured soft rock songs of the 70's and 80's. I instinctively began to switch the channel, but the host kept saying, "But wait! There's more..."

I'm glad I did as it took me on a trip down memory lane...

I was intrigued by the various video clips of the artists who were performing these soft rock hits. For instance, Air Supply. Here was a band who had a string of hits back in the 80's. I was never particularly into them as I always liked the harder rock stuff. But I'm watching these two guys, one with an acoustic guitar and the other with a mini-Afro, belting out these sappy love songs while I quietly sipped my coffee.

There were other clips of 70's bands like America, Bread, Toto, Seals & Crofts and Firefall. There was also a string of solo artists like Boz Scaggs, Phil Collins, Kenny Loggins and Don McLean. Although these bands/individuals dominated the radio waves back in the day, it was interesting to see the faces behind the songs.

I saw a video of Christopher Cross singing his hit "Sailing". Cross was a stout-looking man but when he sang, he produced this unexpected high-pitched voice. It was sort of like hearing Mike Tyson talk for the first time. But in a different way.

The Doobie Brothers were also featured. I love the old Doobie songs like "China Groove", "Listen to the Music" and "Long Train Running". But the songs on this particular album collection were from the Michael McDonald years. He brought another element, mainly in the form of keyboards, to the band. They were good songs, but quite honestly, I was never a huge fan of the "softer" version of the Doobie's.

This infomercial was a long one. I was already ten minutes in. But the announcers assured me that we weren't done yet. So, like a hypnotized robot, I stayed tuned...

The next clip featured one of my all-time favorite guitar players, Peter Frampton. Of all the songs they could have picked from his catalog, they had him performing "I'm In You". I've always considered this song (and album of the same name) to be the "jump the shark" moment for Frampton (or maybe it was his appearance the Sgt. Peppers re-make, I dunno). But in the video, Frampton wasn't even holding his trademark Les Paul. I instantly wanted to change the channel but, as if the announcer sensed it, he said, "Hey, don't go away, there's more!" So, I stayed...

Next up was Linda Ronstadt doing "You're No Good". I'm not really sure if this one really fits into the traditional soft rock genre. But nonetheless, it's a good song (it was later covered by Van Halen). Looking back on Ronstadt herself, I think she was my first official boyhood crush. Back in the day, she was a very attractive woman and I loved the attitude that she injected into her performances.

The Cars also had a song in the collection. Unfortunately, it was "Drive". Although it was probably their biggest hit, I never really cared for it. If I had to pick one favorite Cars song, I would probably opt for "Moving In Stereo". They had a list of great songs but none rocked a pool scene quite the way this one did (If you don't know what I'm talking about, you obviously have never seen "Fast Times At Ridgemont High").

Perhaps one of the most profound marketing statements of the commercial was when one of the announcers pointed out that you could take the music with you and play the CD's in your car. It instantly made me think of the new Honda Pilot that I bought Tina a few years ago. After the first day of driving it, she informed me that I bought her a car without a CD player. This wasn't intentional as I assumed that every modern car these days comes with a CD player. Apparently, this isn't the case as everyone is now moving away from the "bulky" CDs and storing their collections on thumb-drives and I-pods. So, that's when I started the pain-staking task of copying my entire CD collection onto his and her thumb-drives. I only took me a few months but I guess it was worth it.....

Anyway, the infomercial went on for another fifteen minutes as it showcased performances by 70's/80's staples like Exile, Chicago, Bonnie Tyler and 10cc. In the end, I did not buy anything but as pointed out by the Little River Band, I definitely did some reminiscing....

kw






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