Lost At The Great Mall

A couple of weeks ago, I had to travel to San Jose to attend an orientation class for my new company. The long travel day was made even longer by a 6+ hour layover in Los Angeles. I did my best to pass the time by watching the Sunday football games on the limited number of TVs. This particular area was extremely crowded so getting a seat at one of the two bars was nearly impossible.

Eventually, I boarded my flight and headed north to San Jose. Landing a short time later, I gathered up my bags and ventured outside to catch an Uber to the hotel. About ten minutes later, I received notification that my driver had arrived. According to the Uber app, he was driver a Toyota Prius. I surveyed the area only to discover that there were no less than ten Prius's within throwing distance. Before I even got a chance to interrogate the first one, my app informed me that my driver had left! So, I immediately called for another. Fortunately, the second guy had the courtesy to call me and tell me that I was in standing in a "no pick-up" zone. So, he instructed me where to go and picked me up a couple of minutes later.

Once I got to the hotel, I began to unpack. It appeared that I had forgot to bring my razor. While most guys have no problem going a day or two without shaving, I do. So, I decided to venture over to the shopping mall across the street from the hotel in search of a razor. As I pass a Chinese restaurant, I enter The Great Mall (yes, that's actually the name of the place).

I walk around the perimeter of the mall no less than three times before I realize that there's no drugstore. So, I walk into one of those "everything's a dollar" stores, hoping that I can find a cheap package of Bic's. But no luck. So, I accept the reality that I'm going to have to show up for tomorrow's class with a face full of stubble.

So I look for the exit. The problem is that there are lots of exits and I can't remember where I entered. I walked around and tried almost every escape route. The only landmark that I have to orient me is the Chinese restaurant that I saw on the way in. But I can't seem to locate it. After walking completely around the mall again, I decide to look at one of the directories. I search under the restaurant header but the only Asian restaurants seem to be in the food court. And I know for a fact that I didn't come in anywhere near the food court.

So, I decide to walk outside in hopes of getting a better bearing on my location. My hotel is only a couple of blocks away so I figure it shouldn't be too hard to find. The problem was that it was now dark and all of the surrounding buildings looked the same. Panic began to set it. I really wished I would have dropped a trail of breadcrumbs on the way in.

I thought about calling an Uber but I figured the guy would laugh at me for the entire 2-block ride. So, I swallowed my pride and decided to do what no man ever wants to do: ask for directions. The first couple I approached didn't speak English so I moved on. The second person I approached didn't speak English either. I repeated this scenario with several more people with the same results: No hablos Ingles.

Childhood anxieties came rushing back as I recalled the first time I got separated from my parents in a public place.

I gave up and proceeded to walk around the entire perimeter of the mall. I eventually stumbled on the elusive Chinese restaurant on the edge of the mall. It was called the Mayflower. No wonder I couldn't find it on the directory. When I think of Mayflower I think of either Pilgrims or Colt thieves. I certainly don't think of a Chinese restaurant.

Drenched in perspiration, I finally make my way back to the hotel. My legs were actually starting to cramp up. I really should have grabbed a drink while I was doing laps around the mall. But thankfully, I made it back to the hotel without collapsing. As I walked past the desk person, he asked if I had a good evening. I explained that I had just finished exploring the mall. He then informed me that it is a great place for mall walkers because a complete walk around the mall is exactly one mile. Figuring that I walked around the mall no less than eight times (at a very brisk pace), I felt like I got my exercise in for the month.

Perhaps the most amazing thing about the whole evening......When I got back to my room, there was a razor on the bathroom sink. I swear that I don't remember seeing it there. That was the whole reason I walked over to the mall! It really freaked me out. Was someone playing a game with me? At this point, I really didn't care. It had been a very long day and I just wanted to get some sleep......

kw