Fashion Sense?

 

Through the past ten years or so, I can’t help but notice the “fashion” trend amongst today’s youth. Hey, I can be open minded to a certain degree. And I completely understand that “rebellious” clothing is a rite of passage of sorts. Within every generation there is the pressure to conform or be cast out. So, most kids go with the flow….

The 60’s brought us tie dyed shirts and flowers in a haze of second hand marijuana smoke. The 70’s tortured us with bell bottomed jeans and silk disco shirts. The 80’s made its fashion statement with skin tight jeans, spandex and big hair. (A relatively mild twenty-five years of clothing trends, in my opinion.)

But the rising popularity of rap music and gangster lifestyles coupled with fascination of low achievement ushered in a whole new fashion sense in the 90’s. Let's take a closer look.....

It started with the baggy pants. No need to try to squeeze your ass into those size 34 jeans anymore. Just go out any buy a pair of size 56’s and make sure you get them extra long. Sure, you’ll be falling on your ass with every step, but this is cutting edge fashion, baby! Work it out!

And don’t stop with the big jeans. Be sure to get that shirt in XXX- Large. If the store doesn’t have that size, accuse them of being racist (it doesn’t matter if you/they are white or black) and demand that they get some on order! For extra emphasis, call the store employee a fool while you look him/her up and down. This will give you a bit of that "street cred" that you hear so much about.

And even though you’re lazy as hell, pick yourself up a pair of Timberland work boots. Don’t worry, you’re not going to be doing any work! It makes absolutely no sense for you to buy work boots. But buy them anyway; it will make you look hard. And please don’t lace them up. Only punks tie their shoes!

Okay, we’re almost done. The only thing left is to pick you up one of those crooked baseball caps. If you can’t find a crooked one, don’t worry, we’ll improvise. Buy a normal cap and cock the brim to a dunce-like position on the side of your head. Yep, now that’s what I’m talking about. You now look like you have the IQ of a grapefruit. You’re ready to take the world, fool!

Check yourself out in a mirror. Sure, you look like an imbecile, but that’s part of the “I don’t give a shit attitude!” Plus, what did intelligence ever do for anyone? Not only will you be a fool, you’ll look like one too! Put your chest out and take pride in being a dumbass! This is expressionism at it’s best!

Aside from the wannabe gangster big clothes look, there’s another disturbing trend that is completely in the other direction. I’m talking about big girls wearing small shirts. And the size of the shirt is directly unproportional to the size of the girl. (i.e. the bigger the girl, the smaller the shirt.) The girls will nonchalantly walk around the mall with their bellies hanging over the perimeter of their jeans while yapping on their cell phones. They kind of resemble gigantic cornbread muffins. The sloppy look is where it’s at these days!

And what’s up with the kids wearing their pajama bottoms out in public? Are they so lazy that they can’t throw on some pants? I feel funny going out to retrieve my morning newspaper in my pajamas. And here these kids parade around the mall like life is one big slumber party! I haven’t seen anyone publicly wearing slippers and brushing their teeth, but I’m sure it’s coming……

KW